GUEST BLOG PAGE: featuring Elaine Brookes, playwright.
In addition to mine and Rosie's play for World Book Night "Waiting for Witch One?" scripted below I am pleased to post a guest playwright, Elaine Brookes, whose play: "The Fagin Fanatics Party", was also performed that night in the Scarborough Library by Outreach Actors from Stephen Joseph Theatre.
The Fagin Fanatics Party
By Elaine Brookes
An Election TV programme interviewing political party leaders. Reporter a smartly dressed man in his thirties is sitting in one chair with an empty chair by his side.
Reporter Welcome back to this exciting political debate. If you have just joined us we are talking tonight to all the leaders of the main parties. We have already heard from Labour and The Liberal Democrats .Next we are going to hear form a party leader whose party seems to have come from nowhere and proving very popular with the younger voters, a group that normally don’t get involved in elections . So please put your hands together for Mr Fagin the leader of the Fagin Fanatics Party. (pointing to the side of the stage Fagin comes on stage a man in his sixties stooped in posture with long lanky hair wearing a bright purple velvet suite) Welcome Mr Fagin thank you for joining us tonight
Fagin My pleasure, my dear, very happy to be here.
Reporter As I have just said Mr Fagin your party seems to have come from nowhere and proving very popular with the younger voters a group as we know don’t normally get involved in elections . So Mr Fagin what’s your secret?
Fagin Jobs that’s what we are about, get them on the streets and working.
Reporter Where are you going to find all these jobs?
Fagin Nice suite you are wearing tonight my dear. (stroking the Reporter’s sleeve)
Reporter Oh thank you, but back to the jobs.
Fagin I started my life’s work in London and I am planning to expand into other cities and maybe even further.
Reporter That sounds like a very good plan, what kind of jobs are they?
Fagin Redistribution of property you could say, removing things from one person and giving it to another person.
Reporter Sort of a recycling type business.
Fagin Yes you could say that. (chuckling under his breath)
Reporter But will there be enough work for all the youths .You have given the impression that there will be huge numbers of jobs available.
Fagin Nice silk handkerchief you have there. (pointing at the reporter handkerchief)
Reporter Oh thank you, so jobs?
Fagin As I said my dear moving into other cities and maybe international our jobs can work anywhere in the world .That’s what Sikes tells me anyway.
Reporter Ah yes, Mr Bill Sikes he is your main backer ,but he has a bit of a reputation of being a wheeler dealer ,fast money ,fast cars and beautiful women.
Fagin Oh the lovely Nancy .
Reporter Yes. Nancy. she is his current girlfriend as seen in Hello magazine.
Fagin Beautiful inside as well as outside.
Reporter Yes, I am sure she is. Is Mr Skies involved in the party?
Fagin Only as an advisory and backer my dear.
Reporter Also you have had a major party member leave in the last few weeks a Mr Oliver Twist? And there is a rumour he has gone and joined the Conservative party.Is that true?
Fagin Ah Oliver! My Oliver. A knife through my heart that’s what that boy is, a knife through my heart.
Reporter So it’s true then he has left you?
Fagin Yes my dear he has left us, very ungrateful very ungrateful. Opened my home to him I did.
Reporter Will this set your election plans back at all?
Fagin Oh no I still have my Dodger and Charles they are good boys they will bring in the goods as you say. (chuckling under his breath)
Reporter So you are all set to start canvassing the nation.
Fagin We are my dear we will be out and about knocking on your doors or coming in through your backdoors, even. (chuckling under his breath)
Reporter Your party’s Manifesto seems to have come from the lyrics of a song it’s rather an interesting one, it’s from a musical I think rather catchy if you ask me.
Fagin Ah yes “You’ve got to pick a pocket or two!”
Reporter Yes that’s the one why did you choose it?
Fagin As you said it’s catchy and people will remember what we stand for my dear.
Reporter And that seems to be pay no tax, take money from the rich and not give any to the poor or charities .
Fagin Tax is nothing but robbery if you ask me. That’s why all these rich don’t pay it Keeping the money for myself is only fair, I have got people working hard to get it for me so it would be rude not to keep it, won’t it ? All these “do-gooders” giving money to charities - what’s that all about. It only encourages people to expect handouts. Give it to Fagin’s Fanatics instead, I say.
Reporter That is a very strange way of looking at things I must say not many people will agree with you.
Fagin That’s my manifesto they can take it or leave it. That’s what democracy is all about my dear.
Reporter That may be a good point to finish this interview, Mr Fagin, as we have a few more party leaders to talk to. Thank you for being with us tonight.
Fagin My pleasure my dear, my pleasure. (starts singing pick a pocket or two leans over to shake the reporter’s hand gets the handkerchief from the reporter and runs off the stage )
Reporter My handkerchief, where has it gone? Fagin. Fagin, get back here, now! Excuse me, I have got to get it back! (Runs off the stage)