Friday, 24 April 2015

Here's our short play for the World Book Night , characters from books at Scarborough Library UK, performed by Stephen Joseph Theatre Outreach Actors.

Waiting for Witch One?
By Rosie and Stuart Larner

WITCH 2, 17 yrs old, rather posh.

WITCH 3, 17 yrs old, her mate, rough and angry.

Scene: Scarborough South Beach early evening, Halloween.


WITCH 2 So where is she? We’ve been waiting here half the night already. Ideas please.

WITCH 3 Well I don't flamin’ know, do I?

WITCH 2 You were there when she said, weren't you?

WITCH 3 In Hull Primark? Yes, but I was trying on these shoes for this toadin’ meet tonight.

WITCH 2 It was definitely on Scarborough South beach with Mac something to meet someone.

WITCH 3 (opening a bag) I’ve got McDippers, McFlurry, and a Big Mac to be on the safe side. (looks up, then notices two lads in the distance and whispers to Witch 2). Hey! Look down the beach! There’s a couple of lads. Is that who we are supposed to meet up with?

WITCH 2 They're surfers and they look fit.

WITCH 3 Can't be sure with this sharkin’ Sea Fret.

WITCH 2 I’m sick of Witch One. She’s such a first class witch.

WITCH 3 She’s that snakin’ bossy we never get a word in edge ways. She's a mewin’ stirrer too...

WITCH 2 .....and getting us to buy all her crazy gear.

WITCH 3 I tried for an eye of newt but they've clamped down on legal eyes now.

WITCH 2 I had to go to the supermarket to get a pilots thumb they were two for one.

WITCH 3 Enough with the almost rhyming couplets.

WITCH 2 Now you’re doing it. You’re starting to talk in rhyme like her now. People’ll be starting to call us the weirdo sisters round here.

WITCH 3 Hey! They’re coming closer. I know who they are! They’re the froggin’ Thane twins from Cayton.

WITCH 2 I’ll give them a shout. (shouts across the beach)   Hi, we’ve been waiting for you!

WITCH 3 Are you Wayne and Shane?

WITCH 2 What did they say? I couldn’t hear. It's that windy.

WITCH 3 Oh, what a birth-stranglin’ cheek! They said: ‘Are you the drag act at the Spa?’

WITCH 2 (shouting) We’re not skinny witches like the girls you go out with!

WITCH 3 You couldn’t handle us two! We’re high fliers.

WITCH 2 (to Witch 3) Us two? Don’t you mean us three?

WITCH 3 Oh, I forgot her. She’d want to get her own back on us if we went snailin’ out with them.

WITCH 2 Yes, she’s a crazy Witch. She got it in for a girl just because she wouldn’t give her a packet of nuts.

WITCH 3 She reckons no one’s going to sleep at night if they whinin’ well cross her.

WITCH 2 Well that’s no problem for us is it? We like to be out all night any way.

WITCH 3 Here they come. I can see them now.  They are so boilin’ fit. Magic.

WITCH 2 Hi guys, we were waiting for our friend but she hasn’t shown up. It's freezing. Let's go in the arcades.

WITCH 3 And how about the Burger King here ... after?

The end.

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