GUEST BLOG PAGE: featuring Elaine Brookes, playwright.
In addition to mine and Rosie's play for World Book Night "Waiting for Witch One?" scripted below I am pleased to post a guest playwright, Elaine Brookes, whose play: "The Fagin Fanatics Party", was also performed that night in the Scarborough Library by Outreach Actors from Stephen Joseph Theatre.
The Fagin Fanatics Party
By
Elaine Brookes
An
Election TV programme interviewing political party leaders. Reporter a smartly
dressed man in his thirties is sitting in one chair with an empty chair by his side.
Reporter
Welcome back to this exciting political debate.
If you have just joined us we are talking tonight to all the leaders of the
main parties. We have already heard from Labour and The Liberal Democrats .Next
we are going to hear form a party leader whose party seems to have come from
nowhere and proving very popular with the younger voters, a group that normally
don’t get involved in elections . So please put your hands together for Mr
Fagin the leader of the Fagin Fanatics Party. (pointing to the side of the
stage Fagin comes on stage a man in his sixties stooped in posture with long
lanky hair wearing a bright purple velvet suite) Welcome Mr Fagin thank
you for joining us tonight
Fagin My pleasure, my dear, very
happy to be here.
Reporter As I have just said Mr Fagin your party seems to have come from nowhere and
proving very popular with the younger voters a group as we know don’t normally get involved in elections . So Mr Fagin what’s
your secret?
Fagin
Jobs
that’s what we are about, get them on the streets and
working.
Reporter
Where
are you going to find all these jobs?
Fagin
Nice suite you are wearing tonight my dear. (stroking
the Reporter’s sleeve)
Reporter
Oh
thank you, but back to the jobs.
Fagin
I
started my life’s work in London and I am planning to expand into other cities
and maybe even further.
Reporter
That sounds like a very good plan, what kind of jobs are they?
Fagin
Redistribution of property you could say, removing things from one person and
giving it to another person.
Reporter
Sort
of a recycling type business.
Fagin Yes
you could say that. (chuckling under his breath)
Reporter
But will there be enough
work for all the youths .You have given the impression that there will be huge
numbers of jobs available.
Fagin
Nice
silk handkerchief you have there. (pointing at the reporter handkerchief)
Reporter Oh
thank you, so jobs?
Fagin As I said my dear moving into other cities
and maybe international our jobs can
work anywhere in the world .That’s what Sikes tells me anyway.
Reporter
Ah yes, Mr Bill Sikes he is
your main backer ,but he has a bit of a reputation of being a wheeler dealer
,fast money ,fast cars and beautiful women.
Fagin Oh
the lovely Nancy .
Reporter
Yes. Nancy. she is his current girlfriend as seen in Hello magazine.
Fagin
Beautiful inside as well as outside.
Reporter Yes,
I am sure she is. Is Mr Skies involved in the party?
Fagin
Only as an advisory and backer my dear.
Reporter
Also you have had a major party member leave in the last few weeks a Mr Oliver
Twist? And there is a rumour he has gone and joined the Conservative party.Is
that true?
Fagin Ah
Oliver! My Oliver. A knife through my heart that’s what that boy is, a knife
through my heart.
Reporter So
it’s true then he has left you?
Fagin Yes
my dear he has left us, very ungrateful very ungrateful. Opened my home to him I
did.
Reporter
Will this set your election plans back at all?
Fagin Oh
no I still have my Dodger and Charles they are good boys they will bring in the
goods as you say. (chuckling under his breath)
Reporter So
you are all set to start canvassing the nation.
Fagin We
are my dear we will be out and about knocking on your doors or coming in
through your backdoors, even. (chuckling
under his breath)
Reporter
Your party’s Manifesto seems to have come from the lyrics of a song it’s rather
an interesting one, it’s from a musical I think rather catchy if you ask me.
Fagin Ah
yes “You’ve got to pick a pocket or two!”
Reporter Yes
that’s the one why did you choose it?
Fagin As
you said it’s catchy and people will remember what we stand for my dear.
Reporter And
that seems to be pay no tax, take money from the rich and not give any to the
poor or charities .
Fagin Tax
is nothing but robbery if you ask me. That’s why all these rich don’t pay it Keeping the money
for myself is only fair, I have got people working hard to get it for me so it would be rude not to keep it, won’t it ? All these “do-gooders” giving money to
charities - what’s that all about. It only encourages people to expect handouts. Give
it to Fagin’s Fanatics instead, I say.
Reporter
That
is a very strange way of looking at things I must say not many people will
agree with you.
Fagin
That’s my manifesto they can take it or leave it. That’s what democracy is all
about my dear.
Reporter
That
may be a good point to finish this interview, Mr Fagin, as we have a few more
party leaders to talk to. Thank you for being with us tonight.
Fagin My pleasure
my dear, my pleasure. (starts singing pick a pocket or two leans
over to shake the reporter’s hand gets the handkerchief from the reporter and
runs off the stage )
Reporter My handkerchief, where has it gone? Fagin. Fagin, get back here, now! Excuse me, I have got to get
it back! (Runs off the stage)
ends
